By now of course anyone who has even heard of the Internet will have also heard tell of Daily Mail journalist Jan Moir & her legendary article about the death of Stephen Gately. If not a brief summary follows:
Pudge faced middle class curtain twitcher implies (in the way bank robbers imply they would like money from the bank by jamming a firearm in someones face and saying "Give me the fucking money") that Gately died because he smoked Marry-jee-wah-nurrr and was a gayer.
The internet didn't like this one bit. Oh no. Then again headlining the article "There Was Nothing Natural About Stephen Gately's Death" was a blunder akin to opening the article with the phrase "Now I'm not homophobic but...."
But that was friday and this is monday (presuming you're reading this on a monday, if you aren't please address all questions about the timeline & continuity to Stan Lee & His Venom Dripping Barbed Penis c/o Marvel Comics). So what have we learned?
1) The Daily Mail is written by closeted, bigotted gossips for other closeted, bigotted gossips. *File Under: Duhhhhh*
2) We who like to consider ourselves tolerant, open minded individuals enjoy like a good old hysterical ruckus just as much as the close minded, prurient gossips we so dislike.
But point 2 is where it gets interesting, the most fascinating question posed by this uproar is why THIS particular article caused such a ruckus when the Daily Mail prints things that are just as unpleasant if not more so on a heartbreakingly regular basis?
Probably cos Gately was young and famous? Sorry but that always help in terms of Celeb Death Profile (or CDP as it is probably known. And if isn't then that sexy abbreviation is copyrighted by me. I get a penny everytime someone uses it, and it definitely gets used loads in the media.)
However rather than suggesting we should be disgusted (and we SHOULD be disgusted) but maybe calm down a bit I would say the only sane response is to go right the other way and kick off a bellowing online shitstorm each and every time the Mail prints some of it's (by now probably) trademarked offensive bullshit. Of course within a week right thinking (Yeah. Right thinking. You heard me. I am controversially laying it out there that if you express racist, sexist or homophobic views you are wrong. We live in a society where it was your right to hold those views and even to express them. Hooray! But they are still wrong. And you're a cunt.) would be exhausted at the level of outrage we'd be obliged to maintain so we'd need to think about organising shifts or something so we don't all simply keel over en masse and puke ourselves to death from sheer righteous fury. Mainly because if we did there'd be an article on the Mail website within twenty minutes gutlessly implying we deserved for being drug addled, communist sodomites.
But why not? Why does it seem it's only people who hold views similar to the Mail's that get to have all the "widely orchestrated smear campaign" fun? Sod that. I am considering setting up a Paypal address where people can send me a pound so I can quit my job, buy a megaphone and simply stand outside the Mail's head office quoting myself from earlier in this post (I'm sure you can guess the phrase I will be repeating again and again and again). At least until I get enough donations to build a twelve foot tall, neon covered robot version of me to do the same thing. Oh yeah. And furthermore the robot is going to piss lasers at random intervals, engaraving phrases like "Have the stones to fully express your despicable views so all humanity can rightfully deride you as the vile skidmarks on the undercrackers of society that you are and then hound you to the ends of the earth" on to the face of the building in massive scorched lettering.
I genuinely see no reason why this shouldn't happen. Do it before Cameron gets in and bet I could get a Govt. grant on the sly as an attempt to curry favour with floating voters.
Oh and if you thought Jan Moir's article was the worst thing I saw on the interweb this weekend:
http://www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php?id=11
aaaannnnnndddd
http://www.usofearth.com/2011-obamas-coup-fails.php
If you'd like to know how clicking on these links made me feel then punch yourself repeatedly in the chest then lock yourself in a dark cupboard weeping and gnashing your teeth whilst flailing madly at your arms with a stanley knife safe in the knowledge you've made the correct response to this hateful shart (I don't need to explain Shart? Do I?) of a world.
sjs x
Oh
